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Adictum to eATMe Trash for Hill Country invasion (trail 286)
Many Thanks to the eATMe H3 for hosting our mischief and mayhem!
as the prequel goes.....
Upon arrival at the crime scene, we found the start point to be missing a key point for this season...shade of any form...well, anything bigger than those cute little trees that they let die in the concrete jungle....so we retired to the hotel down town to find that the missing half of our party had just checked in and were looking for us...darn that up to date cell phone system...
At this point we were still a couple hours out from the FEBA and we commenced to see how lubricated we could get and still keep the motorcycles and chariots with the rubber side down.
re-entry.....(excerpted from the eATMe 69th trash)
Hill Country Road Trip: 21 August 2010
The burdens of royalty are immense--just ask Yard Ralph. Luring her own
kennel into the heat of an August afternoon is no easy task, but nearly a
dozen thirsty hounds and harriettes did their loyal duty to meet and greet
an almost equal number of visiting hashers from the Hill Country HHH. As
part of her majesties Ms TXIH 2010 vow to attend every Texas hash, she did
one better and invited HCH3 to road trip down to Aggieland, and they were up
for the challenge. It was HHHot and there was cold beer and even some
strange named concoctions (purple god-damn it & yucca) that the
road-tripping hashers brought from Killeen. I did mention it was HHHot.
After consulting with Al Gore and his mistresses, which I think makes him an
honorary hasher, there’s a new hash house heat index. You calculate the
“HHHot as a motherFx” discomfort index by multiplying the number of
temperature degrees (F) above 69 by the number of relative humidity degrees
above 69 and then you multiply that by the distance away from cold beer
measured in units such as how far one can distinguish a Heineken from a PBR.
So by my disreckoning, we started with a 31 (100 Fx degrees-69) times 13
(not too sticky 82%-69%) times 171,215.881 which equal “69” million
discomfort units. Check my math: 31 x 13 x 171,215.881 = 69,000,000.
Fortunately, once at a beer check and on-in, that third number becomes zero,
which means cold beer remedies heat and humidity.
Well get back to this index. As far as I could tell the 69th run went so
well I forgot many of the details, but here it goes. Amazingly, the Hill
Country pack except one arrived at the designated start point first! With
the shade of a brand new Lowes store in College Station, a motley looking
crew of hashers greeted me as I arrived. A hairy husky named CODA ate ice
out of my hand, and I knew this was going to go well. The eATMes arrived in
and around 5:00 SHiT (Summer Hash Time) for the Red Foreskin certified trail
(RFCT®). All in all, besides the hares (Yard and Red) there was 4Fs, Aint
Jack Shit, Tofruity, 3Rans and her virgin sister(really ???), Three Second
Halflife, Can’t Open Her, three Justs (Mike/Zach/Leo) , my terrified self,
and late arriving eAT My cookies. From Hill Country, there was Lucky Charm,
Cum DMC, Joy Ride, Ms Conception, Bigums, Latter Day Taint, Duffy Dick, All
Shaft No Head, D-Dildo, and late arriving ERIC. With a literal chalk talk,
the pack immediately set out looking for cold beer (69 million miles away).
Despite claims of shade, we weaved through sunshine, parking lots, and
hurdled large creeks that somehow drew way to much blood. A few back checks
kept the pack close as we panted into the first beer check. Momentary
comfort turned to discomfort as we navigated the wild jungles behind Pebble
Creek including a three boarded miscrossing point. I’m pretty sure D-Dildo
was having Vietnam flashbacks as we looked for a TP rescue sign. After
seeing a Beer Near sign, the pack dashed into Lick Creek Park without the
hares showing up for the second beer check. We seem to have a problem since
this is the second hash in a row with a missed second beer check (WTF!). A
crafty false and back check put the pack minus Tofruity in a mixed
runner/walker pack that drooled their way into the on-in and circle spot.
Now that we had beer (zero discomfort), all seemed good until we pulled out
of our slumber and accused the hares of HHHot treason. At circled we thanked
our sole virgin, Just Maryam, for flying all way from Tehran to hash with us
(and as with all virgins--thanks for nothing!). A rousing circle with a In
Chicago and Jesus Saves renditions filled the moonlit evening with joyous
debauchery. The On-After was at Yard and Red’s emporium; there was a heady
tap of Shiner Bock and yummy catered food. I lost touch with the kennel just
as naked bodies were entering the jacuzzi.
I think the math says it all. Cold beer is the medicine for all our ailments
and no matter how hot and humid it is in Central Texas there’s a way back
to zero pain. The 69th running of the eATMe HHH was a success and relatively
painless. Thanks to the Hill Country H3 for making the journey down to
Aggieland. Please cum back and hope to see you all at TXIH 2011 (year of the
hare). You too CODA!
Terro-jism
de-compression....
returning to the land of the conscious on the next day....
wow...no coyote bites on body parts....but that getting up early stuff...
on on to our next invasion!
All Shaft, no Head
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